


Not a Stripper, maybe a Prostitute

by PhantomTyper



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, Goldie Free, Hacker Gavin, I wrote this instead of homework, I wrote this instead of what i should be writing, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, kinda a prostitute gavin, protect Jeremy he is precious, ryan the dork guy, smut in the third chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-26 20:03:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9920123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomTyper/pseuds/PhantomTyper
Summary: Geoff gets stuck doing a favour for a friend and needs a hacker on board for it. Too bad his first choices know a shit job when they see one. So Geoff does something he regrets and calls up plan G. G being Goldie Free.





	1. Calling up plan G

**Author's Note:**

> I've got three (kinda short) chapters written out and I have no plan for this. Enjoy

 

Geoff honestly didn't want to bring him in.

 

The Fake AH Crew were all crammed into their heist room, arguing over their latest plans.

 

The heist they were planning was something for an ally of theirs. Another gang called the Cockbites pulled quite a few favours to keep the nearly not drunk enough leader from skimping out on the troublesome job.

 

Get into the maximum security building, get some bullshit files, kidnap specific guy, and get out. What might have Ramsey's band of misfits scoffing at suddenly had them caring. Two of their best hackers sneezed at the pay and left them without someone breaking them into the joint.

 

'Please tell me one of you fucks knows someone who could take the job. Michael?'

 

Michael, also known as Mogar, shrugged. His feet up on the table and phone in hand when his shoulders shot up to squish his neck.

 

'Don't look at me! The last one I fucking introduced you didn't like remember?'

 

'I wanted a hacker, not a smart-ass with no skill. Jeremy?'

 

The lad's eyes went wide in panic and he shifted nervously from foot to foot, the start of words tumbled out of his mouth and only ended when he shrugged unhelpfully. Geoff didn't really expect Jeremy to know anyone fit for the job. Well, Jeremy had one, but Matt was apparently busy with more important business. The asshole.

 

'Ryan?'

 

Ryan the Vagabond guy only shrugged before finding more interest in sharpening his array of Hello Kitty knives. Where he'd gotten them, Geoff had no idea, but it wasn't like he was going to ask where the guy got anything by this point.

 

Geoff put his heads into his hands for a moment, leaning back with a groan. Glancing to Jack was a mistake when the man could only gave him a knowing look in return. He hadn't even asked Jack because there was someone they both knew could do it. The bastard was even in the city this time around according to reliable sources.

 

'So what are we going to do Boss?'

 

'Goddamnit.... I guess I know a guy.'

 

The crew's face's looked to their leader in both relief and annoyance. If Geoff knew someone then why hadn't he called them up earlier? The whole problem would have already been solved and they could go back to prepping for the job. Michael, being the boldest, voiced his thoughts in his co-workers stead.

 

'Honestly? The guy's a pain in the ass to deal with and the last time I worked with him I ended up needing to make a lot more calls than usual.'

 

'Come on Geoff, he's not that bad.'

 

'You're fucking remembering him wrong then.'

 

Geoff let out a loud groan and pulled out his phone, standing before dialing a number. Pressing the small rectangle close to his ear. He was trying to ignore the raised eyebrow Jack was aiming towards him, probably about how Geoff even had the guy's number, when the call picked up. In the quiet room, the voice on the other end could barely be heard, but laughter chirped noticeably through the phone. Geoff waited in frustrated silence as the other party spoke. Exhaustion appearing on the already tired leader's face.

 

'There's never a _good time to call_ with you.'

 

A few seconds went by before Geoff's face scrunched, not liking the response. Taking the chance to pinch the bridge of his nose he tried not to groan again.

 

' _I'm calling_ because I have a job opportunity for you and before you say anything else. It's a hack job. Nothing more.'

 

A high pitched whine sizzled on the phone and Geoff had to hold it away from his ear for a second. Putting it back so he didn't miss anything important. Though it didn't seem all that important because Geoff glared towards the ceiling and huffed.

 

'I'll take you to the fucking bar or something! You in or not?'

 

The response seemed delayed to the rest of the crew, but a look of realization flashed across his face. Making Geoff sputter as a red blush ran across the man's upset features before having him turn even redder with anger. Taking the phone away from his ear to look at it and mutter something about the little shit hanging up on him.

The room fell into a silence as their boss scrubbed his face with his hands. Jeremy, being a curious little badger, made the move to break the silence.

 

'So? What'd he say?'

 

'He's in. Said he'll be here in twenty minutes or so.'

 

'Okay, cool. Who the fuck is this guy, again?'

 

Geoff frowned, taking a swig from his drink on the table to stall. Swallowing with a sigh just to breath out a deeper second one.

 

'Gavin Free. Or as some may know him, Goldie.'

 


	2. Hired help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Goldie and his temper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE WE GO

 

It took nineteen minutes for 'Goldie' to show up.

 

The crew had migrated out of the tiny heist room and into the living room area. Jack was squished on the couch between Michael and Ryan, leaving Jeremy and Geoff to share the loveseat next to it. They didn't really need to share with a whole second couch, but they liked the closeness.

 

Nobody moved when the doorbell rang. Everyone looked towards the door, but no one wanted to get up to get it. So, Geoff being the mature adult he is, gave Jeremy a shove off the love seat. Bringing his hand to his chest with a gasp.

 

'Oh wow Jeremy! So nice of you to volunteer to get the door!'

 

Jeremy scowled, narrowing his eyes at his boss. He mumbled a quick fuck you before moving to get the door in his lazy leader's stead. Jogging to the door and throwing it open. Now, Jeremy was no stranger to flashy outfits, but he had to take a moment to process who or what he was looking at.

A tall man wearing high heels stood in the doorway. The overbearing smell of wet strawberries wafting from him. With a hip cocked, he seemed more interested in his phone and who ever he was texting. Sun glasses sat perched on a head of bleach blonde hair, jewelry littered the man like someone's sugar baby. Tiny booty shorts was tight on his hips, leaving nothing to imagine. His black crop-top read Basic Bitch in gold lettering.

 

The stranger finally looked up from their phone, apparently finished with their text. Emerald eyes flicking from Jeremy's feet to his face in silent judgement before they spoke. A British accent apparent in their dialect.

 

'Oh my gosh! Aren't you just the cutest little thing!'

 

'I, uh.'

 

Jeremy turned back to look at the group.

 

'Hey did anyone call for a stripper?'

 

'I believe Geoff called me. Wanted a hand job?'

 

'Fucking... Let him in.'

 

The 'Stripper' smiled sweetly as Jeremy stood to the side, heels clicking as they stepped into the pent house. Though the door was quickly shut when Jeremy let out a surprised yelp. The stranger's roaming hands apparently had trouble keeping to them selves, quickly finding their way to grab a handful of the smaller man's ass. Disappointment crossing their face at the inability to use both hands, his other hand holding onto a brief case.

 

Jeremy scrambled away to hide in the safety of Geoff's lap. To which the Stripper had only giggled at the sight. Michael was staring at the guy in confusion while Ryan only kept up his guard.

 

'Seriously, Geoff? What the fuck, I thought you were calling in that one guy today?'

 

'Shut up. He is the guy. Meet Gavin. Gavin meet the crew.'

 

'Please, call me Goldie.'

 

Goldie wiggled his manicured fingers at the team. The rest of the team could only stare in a mix of confusion and concern. If this was their backup plan then how in need of a hacker were they?

 

'So what's the deal? Didn't come here just to look pretty. I'm a pay to use.'

 

'Did you hire a prostitute to hack for us?'

 

Ryan had piped up. His mask was fixed in place before the door had been opened and he was obviously playing up the Vagabond for their 'guest'. Goldie rolled his eyes at the words. He almost made a point of touching the back of the couch while walking around the crammed sofa to sit on the empty one. The game they'd been playing was paused and all of them were looking at Goldie.

 

Geoff, once again, dumped Jeremy to the floor unceremoniously. Standing up, he started walking towards an empty room and snapping his fingers.

 

'Goldie, can I talk to you in private please?'

 

'Oh? Did our little phone call get you hot?'

 

'Get your ass in here dipshit.'

 

Goldie raised his hands in surrender. Leaving his briefcase and followed the gent down the hall, turning into what looked like an office. He ran a few gold painted fingernails over Geoff's back and cooed at the older man.

 

'I thought you said this was a hack job and nothing more? Lot more than that, innit?'

 

Geoff whipped around to glare at the hacker, pushing the dolled up man away to hopefully keep him at arms length.

 

'Lay off, shithead. I've got a job for you and the least you could do is be professional about it.'

 

'Professional is my middle name.'

 

'Right, you're the least professional person I know.'

 

Goldie narrowed his eyes at the words.

 

'You call me up. While I'm _busy_. I show up for you and this is what I get? If you want someone _Professional_ , you can find someone else to do your job. Which I'm guessing no one bloody wanted to considering you called me up. And you _never_ call me.'

 

Goldie shoved Geoff, forcing him to lay his back over the messy desk. He grabbed a fist full of whiskey scented shirt and pressed his lithe body against the older man.

 

'You called me in to work. I'm here in my work clothes. So cheers.'

 

The fabric was released when Goldie stepped back. Letting Geoff stand as Goldie turned on his heel. Walking out of the room with ice covering their mostly bare shoulders.

 

Geoff could hear Jeremy's protests when Goldie decided to sit down in the love seat next to him. It wasn't a joke when he'd told the crew that Goldie was hard to work with. Years had gone by without needing the boy's help after he'd gone back to England to continue his work with a close friend whom he'd never name. Goldie was apparently out here on a mission, but it wouldn't hurt to borrow the hacker for a quick one. Job. A quick job.

 

Geoff sighed, smoothing out his suit before finding himself an open bottle of scotch. Taking a few swigs before returning to the living room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say hi and maybe send me some ideas over at gangsandglory.tumblr


	3. The smell of Strawberries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other half of Geoff's conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is nsfw. It's not necessary to read, but it has the entire conversation from the first chapter.

 

Goldie.

 

That's what they called him. Whether he had them between his legs or looking down at them from the barrel of his gold plated gun. It never mattered because he would be left feeling satisfied that they knew his name. Calling out his gold plated name to unintentionally stroke his gold plated ego.

 

No where did Gavin really exist because only the chorus of his stage name could be heard.

 

'Oh god, Goldie.'

 

'You like that?'

 

The man beneath him groaned in response, splayed out in the back seat of a very expensive car. 'Goldie' had been picked up after exiting a bar with an informant. The guy pulled up after the two parted ways, flashing money with the promise of a fun time and who was Gavin to refuse?

 

Gavin was straddling the man's hips, knees digging into the leather seats. His yellow booty shorts grinding down on the rich man's front.

 

It didn't really have much to do with what Gavin was in Los Santo's for, but no one told Gavin what he could or couldn't do in his spare time.

The strangers hands, which had been clutch at the car, suddenly flew to the hem of Gavin's shorts. Anger flashed in his eyes behind his shades and the hands were slapped away. A soft tutting noise following the rough action.

 

'I'd love to do more, love, but my fun bits are a little expensive.'

 

'I've got the money, please Goldie.'

 

'At least six grand more, yeah?'

 

'Yes! Yes of course, what ever you want. I'll buy you anything!'

 

That's what Gavin wanted to hear.

 

Standing on his knee's, he shimmied out of his tight little shorts and it wasn't all that surprising that he wasn't wearing any underwear. Taking the, unsuspectingly expensive, article of clothing and dropping it in the front seat. Digging in the tiny pockets for condoms and a one use lube packet before going to unbuckle his client's pants. Gavin grinned at the roaming hands across his skin. Dropping the packet into one of the hands, he gave it a pinch.

 

'Why don't you work those lovely fingers for me?'

 

It didn't take much to push the man along. The few spoken words had him fumbling with the packet, squirting it onto his fingers in a hurry before pressing them into Gavin. A soft moan bubbling in his throat as he was worked open. Mumbling a few praises, Gavin went back to wrapping a strawberry flavoured condom over the guy's dick.

Gavin shivered as the fingers slipped out. A sly grin crossing his features as begging tickled his ears.

 

All the money he had.

 

All the clothes and jewelry that could be bought.

 

The world if Gavin so chose.

 

A lovely fluttering swelled in Gavin's chest. Promises of the world and much more. Though it was as fake as Goldie. Gavin was more than aware of what his client could and could not offer. The world was not one of them.

 

Despite the knowledge, he gently settled himself on the man's erection.

 

Then his phone rang.

 

Gavin frowned and leaned over to grab it. Not bothering to dislodge himself from his client for the sake of decency. If it was someone worth anything then he'd never just let the call go to voice mail. Though a grin stretched across his gold stained lips. He accepted the call, much to his client's distaste, laughing loudly into the phone. Moving his hips to quiet the protests of the man beneath him.

 

'Geoffrey! Now I know I said to call whenever, but you've caught me at a bit of a bad time.'

 

 _There's never a_ good time _to call with you._

 

Gavin bit his lip to muffled a moan as his client snapped his hips up with a cry. He shook his head and pressed a finger to the man's lips, telling the man that he needed to be quiet.

 

'Yeah, but you always want to call me for one, don't you. Throw me around the office, bend me over the desk and-'

 

**I'm calling** _because I have a job opportunity for you and before you say anything else. It's a hack job. Nothing more._

 

Strong hands gripped bruises into Gavin's hips, steadying the lanky boy before speeding up their pace to only slowly grind into him. The high pitched whine was far louder than he meant it to be now that it was mixed with a sudden change in pace. It took far more effort to keep his voice steady and he was loving it. Winking at the man below him before responding.

 

'Where's the fun in that? Kinda boring, innit? My fee ain't just money you know.'

 

_I'll take you to a fucking bar or something! You in or not?_

 

'Don't be such a little pisspot, Ramsey. That's no way to ask for a favour. But because it's you I guess I can- oh fuck. Be there in twenty.'

 

The man's pace had picked up as quiet whimpers escaped him. Gavin moaned and teased the man. Asking if he wanted to come like a good little boy indirectly into the phone. Where he was still on a call with someone who people looked on as a well devised criminal, but Gavin could only imagine the man's scruffy red face as Gavin groaned a string of yes's into his ear.

 

Gavin came all over the guy's chest, throwing his bleached hair back with one last yes. His client coming just a second afterwards.

 

'See you then, love.'

 

There wasn't really a response to the radio show Gavin had put on. Oh well. He'd just do his hardest to make the older man blush when he showed up at their door. Not like Gavin didn't know where they were hiding out in their fancy pent house.

 

Goosebumps ran up his spine when he finally slid off the stranger. Wiping himself down as much as possible before putting his shorts back on, slipping his black high heels on and exiting the car. He made a bee-line to the back of the car and popped the trunk, looking over the case of money. Of course this just so happened to be some grunt going to a deal. Twenty grand for a good chunk of ammunition. Though he'd just spent absolutely every cent on a pretty little thing named Goldie.

 

The brief case tapped against his back when he slung it over his shoulder, looking back at his client who was currently cleaning himself up. A sly grin appearing on his face when an idea formed. Gavin opened the door closest to the man's head. Manicured hands slid over the guy's chest and Gavin cooed gently.

 

'Oh, love. I know you're still on cloud nine, but I'm gunna take your car okay?'

 

Without waiting for an answer, Gavin yanked the idiot out of the car. Slipping into the front seat of the car and driving away.  
It was fun while it lasted, but he was going to meet up with someone he hadn't seen in years and he was going to get some petty revenge.

 

Gavin couldn't wait.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say hi and see some art stuff over at gangsandglory.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Say hi and maybe send me some ideas over at gangsandglory.tumblr


End file.
